COMLEX + 1 Week

Remarkably, today marks one week since I sat for my Step 1 boards. It has taken nearly a week for the anxiety surrounding the boards to slowly ebb away. For many months I've been studying myself almost into a stupor. Now, abruptly, I have nothing to study. The day I got home from the boards I sat down at my little desk out of habit, ready to open my USMLE First Aid book. I stared at it dumbly, suddenly realizing I was done. I actually felt lost for a few moments. What do I do now? I thought to myself.

Since coming to this realization, I have had the extreme pleasure in spending more time with my family, doing some local teaching, and reading about those medical subjects which were a little weaker for me (can anyone say PHARMACOLOGY??). I am looking forward to 3rd year with profound excitement: finally, we get to help patients on the wards! For me, this is a "return to the wards" as I have 18 years of military medical experience in clinics, the field, and hospitals. It feels like I'm coming home.

Meanwhile, I have at least two more weeks of waiting before board scores are released. No use being anxious now - what's done is done and it is quite literally in God's Hands.

I'm grateful for getting this far and very much looking forward to the next two years and to residency beyond.

Be blessed, dear reader. I'll keep you posted.

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Tomorrow....

Tomorrow, May 24th, from 0830 hrs to (about) 1730 hrs, I will be taking the medical boards Step 1 exam: the COMLEX. This exam is eight hours long and consists of 400 questions covering everything we have learned during the first two years of medical school. Quite literally, from day one, my medical education has worked to prepare me for this event.

As you might imagine, the stress is incredibly high. Thoughts assault me: What if I fail? What if I'm not cut out to be a physician? What if I've messed up and wasted my life and spent literally hundreds of thousands of dollars for nothing? What if I fail my family? Am I crazy for trying this at my age? And on and on and on....

In the midst of all of this stress two irrefutable facts remain: 1.) God, Who is very real and very close, has been so faithful to help my family and I through these challenging times. Quite literally I would not be here if not for Him; and 2.) My wife and children and many other kind folks have been and remain a source of extraordinary encouragement and support. I am thankful for both of these facts and I feel very honored simply to have the opportunity to sit for this test.

I don't know what will happen tomorrow. I do not know if I will pass this exam. I do know I am going to throw myself at it and, for eight hours, give it everything I have.

Thank you for reading. I'll keep you posted.

That Four-Legged Evil

Never before, in my wildest dreams or most terrible nightmares, had I suspected that one day I would so loathe an object as seemingly innocuous as a chair. 

But loathe it I do. 

All I do these days is sit: I sit in my chair behind my desk and study for the boards; I sit on the couch and study for the boards; I sit at the kitchen table and study for the boards; and, if I'm feeling truly daring, I sit outside and study for the boards.

Yes, it is that time in my young medical education - STEP 1 COMLEX boards are 20 days away as of this writing. This eight hour, 400 question exam will test how much I have learned in the past two years and, if I pass, usher me into official status as a 3rd year medical student. 

Thus, like my colleagues, I spend nearly all of my waking moments studying. My tuchus is tired of sitting. The chair has become an evil taskmaster telling me to open another book, read another power-point presentation, watch another educational video.

Sometimes I look out the window and yearn to go jogging or even take a brisk walk. "No time!" cries that cursed chair and back I go to plant my derriere in that unforgiving seat.

Speaking of which, I've already taken too much time sharing this with you. Only 20 more days! I should be studying!

Hello chair.....

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