The Nurse of Wisdom...

The result of the medical board exam is finally in! And (drum roll) -

I failed again - for the third time.

I can't believe it. Honestly, this is now just getting ridiculous. I have spent the past 12 months studying for this test, navigating two highly recommended boards prep courses, and forging through literally thousands of questions. Despite everything, I continue to fail, over and over and over.

As you can imagine my family and I are devastated to the core. I honestly cannot understand, at this point, what I am missing, what I am doing wrong, what is the root cause. My professors share my bewilderment. Meanwhile, it is worthwhile to note that I do not blame God. I am the one who failed, not He.

Miraculously, my school allows four chances for this exam. I am honestly torn: should I try this one last time? Or, should I give up this dream, this ambition I have nurtured for nearly 40 years, and find something else? The answers to these questions depend a great deal on the advice of the leadership at my school.

Meanwhile, my family and I are looking at possible options. The immediate need is survival, of course. Just today I accepted a job offer with a local medical company - I need to support my family because, for the past many years, we have subsisted on school loans, loans that are no longer available to us due to my failures. I am grateful for the new job while realizing that my ultimate goal remains the same: to become a physician.

Thank you, dear reader, for your continuing interest and support. This adventure is not over until, as they say, "the fat lady sings". Despite this extraordinary group of setbacks, I still want this, so very much. But, before I try again for the last time, I am going to take some time to reassess the dynamics involved. Why am I failing where so many before me have passed, especially in light of the reality that I performed reasonably well on all of my didactic classes during the first two years of medical school? With God's help, I will do everything I can to make this work.

I will keep you posted.

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